


Worth the Wait

by sir_kingsley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Conversations, Established Relationship, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sir_kingsley/pseuds/sir_kingsley
Summary: Dean takes a deep breath, red creeping slowly up his neck. “Okay. So you know how we’ve been dating for a while.”Cas hums. “Seven months.”“Exactly. And you know we talked about taking things slow. And I’m totally fine with that,” Dean says hurriedly. “'Cause I love being with you. Like I... I’m really happy. With you.”Cas tilts his head curiously, chest warming with fondness and affection for the blabbering man in front of him. “I’m happy too.”Dean’s smile is shaky. “Good. Yeah. Um. Well, I was thinking. And ya know we never really talk about, um, sex.” Dean almost smothers the word with a cough but Cas catches it and starts to turn red himself.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 238





	Worth the Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm trying to clean out my WIPs folder and stumbled upon this from 2017. See the notes at the end for a short explanation.

“Cas, we need to talk.”

Cas doesn’t look away from his computer as Dean bursts into his room.

“If this is the we-need-to-break-up talk, I would kindly ask you to wait until the end of this week,” Cas says. “And if this is a prank we-need-to-break-up talk, I would _kindly_ remind you that it is finals week, I’m running on four hours of sleep and three triple espressos and I will not be held responsible for any bodily harm that comes to you.”

“This isn’t the break up talk,” Dean assures him but still sounds nervous.

Cas sighs and leans away from his desk, taking a moment to breathe before spinning in his chair to face Dean. “Then what is your communication emergency?”

Dean’s eyes are trained on Cas’s and he blinks a few times. “You know I can’t function when you wear your glasses.”

A smile touches Cas’s lips and he removes the glasses. “Better?”

Dean pouts for a moment. “Yes and no.”

“What do we need to talk about, Dean?”

Dean takes a deep breath, red creeping slowly up his neck. “Okay. So you know how we’ve been dating for a while.”

Cas hums. “Seven months.”

“Exactly. And you know we talked about taking things slow. And I’m totally fine with that,” Dean says hurriedly. “'Cause I love being with you. Like I... I’m really happy. With you.”

Cas tilts his head curiously, chest warming with fondness and affection for the blabbering man in front of him. “I’m happy too.”

Dean’s smile is shaky. “Good. Yeah. Um. Well, I was thinking. And ya know we never really talk about, um, sex.” Dean almost smothers the word with a cough but Cas catches it and starts to turn red himself.

“Dean,” he says carefully, something sour settling in his gust and chasing away all the warm butterflies that were just there. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not pushing, Cas. I swear. I said I’m fine with the pace we’re going and I am! I mean, not that I wouldn’t be interested if you are, but, like, I did some reading and I know there are people who just, like, don’t want sex. Like ever.”

“Oh my god.  _ Dean _ ,” Cas groans, head falling into his hands.

“It’s okay, Cas!” Dean rushes to say and his eyes are so bright and sincere Cas can’t look at them. “I’m not- I’m not trying to be an ass about it. But I just figured, ya know, if this is it then we should talk about it because-”

“Please stop,” Cas whispers into his hands.

“I just want to be aware of any boundaries because I read that there’s a whole spectrum of asexuality and some people don’t have sexual attraction but may still be interested in sex and then there are some who are sex repulsed or some people only have sexual attraction to people they’ve already had, like, an emotional relationship with.”

Cas looks up at the ceiling. “Just kill me.”

“Cas, this is serious!” Dean says. “I want you to be honest with me. Because I don’t want to hurt you or ever make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m uncomfortable right  _ now _ !” 

Dean is quiet for a moment before leaning forward slightly to whisper, “Is it... is it because we’re talking about sex? Like can you not- does it- shit. Are you-”

“Oh my god, Dean, I’m not asexual!” Cas cries, finally looking at his boyfriend.

Dean, even through all his nervous twitching, still manages a look of suspicion. “You aren’t?”

“No! If I were, don’t you think I would have told you by now? You’ve known me for three years!”

Dean gives a small shrug. “I just thought you were nervous about it because people can be assholes.”

“I would have told you though.” Cas takes a deep breath, trying to work the adrenaline out of him and willing the heat in his cheeks away. “Look, I appreciate your- concern, I guess? And that you actually researched asexuality and wanted to have a mature but  _ painfully awkward  _ conversation about it. But I am not ace, Dean.”

“Oh.” Dean kind of nods his head, looking a little lost as his hands fidget in his lap. He looks down and the red comes creeping back, this time staining his freckled cheeks. “So then, um... is it- is it just... me?”

“Oh for the love of...” Cas crosses the room to sit on his bed next to Dean. He ducks his head to find Dean’s stubborn eyes and his heart breaks a little when he sees how glassy they are. “Dean,” he says, taking his hand. “It’s not you. Please look at me.”

Dean looks up hesitantly and the vulnerability is dissipating. Cas can see the walls coming up, the tremors of a false smile curving Dean’s lips and he kills it with a kiss. 

“It’s not you,” Cas repeats. “I’ve just...” Cas grimaces as the words weigh on his tongue. “I’ve always imagined my first time happening... after I got married.”

Cas holds his breath while waiting for Dean to process his words. 

“Married?” Dean echoes.

“Married,” Cas confirms.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They both look away from each other and Cas bites the inside of his cheek.

“Is it like... a religious thing?” Dean wonders after a minute.

Cas snorts. “Am I religious person?”

“Fair enough,” Dean concedes. “Can I ask... why?”

The eye roll is immediate. “Why did you decide to have sex when you seventeen?”

Dean frowns in consideration. “Because I wanted to?”

“There’s your answer.” Dean gives another nod like he understands but Cas knows better. “It’s just always been the way I’ve imagined it happening. There’s no righteous overarching reason. It’s just me. It’s what I want for myself.”

Another moment of silence passes before Dean asks, “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“In my experience, telling someone you won’t have sex with them until after they’ve married you ends badly. And I-” Cas reaches for Dean’s hand. “I wanted more time with you.”

There’s a part of him that fears Dean will take his hand away and his breathing stutters when instead, Dean squeezes his fingers.

“You thought I’d break up with you for not letting me get in your pants?”

“It’s not that rare of an occurrence, Dean.”

Dean shuffles closer to touch his forehead to Cas’s and Cas closes his eyes. “I’m sorry, Cas. That people have hurt you over this. And that you were worried I’d do the same.”

Cas gives a noncommittal shrug. “I lived.”

“I’m also sorry for making us have this conversation.”

Cas laughs and opens his eyes to Dean’s. He lifts a finger to Dean’s laugh lines. “I’ll forgive you one day.”

***Three years later***

Dean and Cas collapse on the bed, skin glistening with cooling sweat and chests heaving.

They stare at the ceiling for a couple minutes, matching gold bands on their fingers and dopey smiles on their faces.

“So... am I forgiven?” Dean asks, still trying to catch his breath

Cas hums, his eyes closed as he just feels the sated tingling running the length of his body, making him feel heavy and loose and boneless. “Completely.”

He hears Dean laugh and then Cas is being pulled against Dean’s chest. “Good. Good.”

A comfortable silence settles over them and Cas feels himself getting heavier and heavier, sinking into the bed with Dean’s body pressed to his back, arms tightly locked around him, warm and safe and Cas never wants to leave. Because this…  _ this  _ is what he waited for. 

He’s nearly asleep when Dean’s soft voice calls him back. “Hey, Cas?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think next time you could… wear your glasses?

The barely contained excitement in Dean’s quiet question already has Cas’s body coming alive with shivers and he burrows deeper into his husband’s arms. “As long as you promise to wear the leather jacket for the time after next.”

Dean chuckles and hides a kiss in Cas’s hair. “You got it…  _ Mr. Winchester _ .”

Cas’s body trembles with a different kind of shivers and before he knows it he’s turning over and ready to start round two. 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to be clear, nothing about this little fic is meant to poke fun at asexuality and asexuals. It's based on part of a conversation I had to have with someone I matched with (yay dating apps) and explaining my preferences... ironically in the time that has passed I do identify as ace now lol so I guess I kinda played myself with this one. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! Stay safe!


End file.
